need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash
TV History
“Excuse me, I’m on the phone.”
I miss these girls every day.
it’s not a genuine ugly christmas sweater unless some old church lady once bought or made it thinking it was a beautiful christmas sweater. mass-produced ugly christmas sweaters? they have no power. they are weak. it is the wholesome love of the old granny sunday school teachers who originally wore the Ugly Christmas Sweater that imbues it with its Christmas Cheer… keep this in mind, friends, don’t be swindled by False Prophets.
Let he who has eyes see.
love is stored in the hyena
[ IMAGE: two hyena; one large and asleep, one small and baby. they appear to be experiencing Love ]
if the jokerman ever said to me “you wanna know how i got these scars” or whatever i would just be like no
The funny thing about that is that he wouldn’t wait for you to respond regardless of what you intended to say
so would any man in the world hes not special
If you’re an American and ever go to another country my biggest advice to you is to go someplace “American themed”. Even if it’s just a seasonal section in a grocery store. It’s always a good time and sometimes it’s even cute.
When I was in Germany my cousins dragged me to a “rodeo” and it was hilarious. It was just a clown and his assistant in bad cowboy outfits lassoing things. Literally a clown. I’m not making that part up. There were no horses or bulls. I’ve seen more impressive lasso tricks from four year olds.
It was so fun. The American section of the grocery store in Switzerland had blueberry juice in it. What the hell is blueberry juice? Delightful, is what it is. 10/10 not accurate in the slightest would recommend. I’m glad they’re having fun.
My middle school teacher's wife is from Japan. And the first time he visited Japan around Christmas her family plopped a sponge cake with strawberries in front of him like "look!!!"
And my teacher is like "???? Nice!""
And they tell him "it's Christmas Cake!"
So he learns Japan has Christmas Cake, which is an "American thing." Except if you're American, you're realizing Christmas Cake is NOT a thing we do.
They were pretty devastated that their American custom was made up. But hey, Christmas Cake is GOOD. so win lose
Man I WISH we had Christmas cake.
A bunch of years ago, for reasons that don’t need exploring at this juncture, I was in Beirut and ended up at an “American steakhouse” called El Rancho.
Guys, it was wild. Wagon-wheel furniture, waiters in cowboy hats and denim vests, “Desperado” playing on the PA. All the menu items were like “The Calamity Jane Special” and “The Buffalo Bill Platter.” Nobody but me seemed to find anything about this funny or weird.
We met the owner, who was Lebanese but had lived in Texas for about a decade. He was wearing a ten-gallon Stetson, cowboy boots, Western shirt, bolo tie and one of those cattle rancher coats with the little capelet over the shoulders. His cell phone went off while he was giving us a tour of the on-site farm and pony ride corral, and it was of course the gunfight music from “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.”
I lost my entire shit laughing at that point, and again: no one else blinked an eye.
Food was great, though.
While I was staying in Paris, I happened to walk past a restaurant as I was exploring. Like any restaurant in Paris, people were eating outdoors, and much of the front of the restaurant was open air, so I could smell and see a large variety of the food.
From across the street, it looked like any other restaurant, aside from the name: “Indiana”.
Curious as to why this Parisian restaurant was named after a Midwestern flyover, I walked over to slyly stare at people’s plates.
Readers, the things were SHAPED like tacos, burritos, and enchiladas, but they did NOT SMELL like tacos, burritos, and enchiladas, and were DEFINITELY covered in French cheeses like chevre and brie.
I went home and asked the folks I was staying with what in the actual fuck was going on.
They told me it was a Tex Mex place. And I’m like, “Never mind your entirely hosed queso situation, Texas and Indiana are not the same?”
And then they told me “Oh no. It’s probably named after Indiana Jones”
And like, it’s been over a decade now and I still don’t know what the fuck to do with that?!
This kid is awesome
Well done kid! Fuck those parents!
To be a tad bit silly- conversion therapy for an asexual?... like.... conversion therapy is horrible and hard for me to picture no matter what- but I’m truly baffled as to how they’d go about it for them. Like... ‘get a boner right NOW’??? like.... wtf?
Well, the article mentions that the parents thought the kid was gay so probably the wrong one
But plenty of asexuals have discussed going through conversion therapy under the assumption that their asexuality is something medically wrong with them. There are medications doctors may prescribe asexuals in order to increase their arousal (no, I don’t think they realize there’s a difference between arousal and attraction), and if said doctor doesn’t know or care that hypoactive sexual desire disorder is supposed to exclude aces, they’ll probably get diagnosed. On top of that, if an ace person is on antidepressants, an acephobic doctor may just… not fill that prescription anymore. Clearly the side effects are so severe you’ve lost your entire sexuality and that’s clearly more important than any benefit it gave you. /s
All this is from normal board-certified doctors who aren’t educated on, well, the existence of asexuality. I don’t want to think about how an actual conversion therapy camp will treat an ace person who ends up there. I also don’t doubt that some people have sent their ace children there. I’ve seen a few aces mention their own parents considering sending them to one when they came out as ace.
But I also think(/Hope?) aces get some degree of safety from this due to parents insisting “no sweetie that’s not a thing :) you’re just a late bloomer, you’ll find someone one day :) we want grandkids” instead of considering the chance that their kid will, in fact, be asexual for the rest of their life. This would account for anyone who initially came out as ace but then later came out as gay and had a worse response; parents can reassure themselves their kid is “just a late bloomer” and refuse to believe their kid isn’t hereto but when they’re gay they can’t explain that away. As shitty as it is for parents to not take your orientation seriously and just pretend you’re straight, acephobia and general lack of ace visibility is actually making it so acephobic parents assume their kids will turn out straight later on and if/when it finally hits them that their kid was serious they can’t legally force their kid to do anything.
If people don’t think women’s bodies are being controlled, they aren’t looking hard enough.
In contrast my husband got a vasectomy and no one even once suggested I might have an opinion on that.
ok so lemme take a minute here to just be fucking mad as all hell.
I don’t like to butt in on people’s posts, lord knows I don’t like starting shit but lemme take a second to tell y'all about getting ur lady bits put out of comission.
I, at the age of 12 years, was diagnosed with PCOS. For you that don’t know what that is, PCOS, or Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, is a LIFELONG medical condition where groups of cysts grow on your ovaries causing the production of female hormones in your body to go batshit nuts and cause a whole sideshow of different symptoms such as but not limited to:
- Irregular cardiac function (it’s a scary time)
- severe weight gain and trouble losing weight (i may eat healthy and work out daily but until I was down to 1-2 meals a day of spinach i wasn’t losing weight)
- severe adolescent acne, and adult acne
- extra hair on the face, chest, arms, legs, thumbs, belly and back (I shave my face everyday before class and usually before I go to bed)
- thinning hair on the scalp due to an excess of male hormones
- irregular or no periods
- HEAVY periods
- EXTREME PERIOD PAIN
- depression and anxiety
- pelvic pain
- increased risk for type 2 diabetes
- Increased for all female reproductive cancers due to infrequency of periods
Now, TMI, but I recently had my first period in 6 FUCKING YEARS. Due to the nature of PCOS generally when you have a period it’s because one of the cysts on your ovaries has burst releasing a flood of hormones into your system as well as built up toxins. Basically, when I had mine my body went into full on panic mode, nausea and vomiting, extreme fatigue, mood swings like you wouldn’t believe, my body went from being relatively alright to the cliffs of fucking Gallipoli in an hour flat. The kicker was on top of all that I had cramping so bad I actually blacked out.
Given that I know this is likely to happen again before I reach menopause, I decided to book an appointment with my local Planned Parenthood (applaud those lovely people and what they do) to see what my options were to make sure it never happens again. After telling me about various hormonal treatments they could prescribe me (not pills but IUDs shots and various other things) I asked them if it was possible for me to get a partial hysterectomy. A partial hysterectomy removes the uterus but keeps the ovaries so that they still are able to produce estrogen. The lady I had the appointment with looked at me with a look of the utmost pity and told me that unfortunately due to my age there would be likely no chance for any doctor to do it. When I pressed her on the topic she said that the most common excuse doctors will give you for it is that you’re too young, you might change your mind and want to have children later in life.
Now I dunno if y’all reading this are currently seeing anything wrong with this scenario here but I was told that I, someone who can’t have kids, doesn’t want kids, has never wanted kids, and would be put at severe risk of life threatening complications, have to have had children before anyone would consider giving me a surgery that not only would undoubtedly improve the quality of my life but also remove
Well, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to get a referral from her during the appointment, I went home and decided to research this bullshit. Turns out that there is something commonly evoked when women want to have any part of their reproductive system put out of commission called the three child rule. Basically if you are young, doctors usually wont let you get either a hysterectomy or a partial hysterectomy UNLESS you have already had three children.
HOLD THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE FOR A WHOLE SECOND AND THINK ABOUT THIS
By most doctors standards, YOU are REQUIRED as a woman to PHYSICALLY GIVE BIRTH to at least 3 CHILDREN before you are able to have any of your reproductive system removed or decommissioned.
And that isn’t even the worst part of it all, these standards DO NOT change when the patient is at high risk for reproductive cancers!
How fucking miserable is it that to take control of your own fucking health in a first world country a woman has to have submitted to the gender roles of having children or actually have contracted cancer or some other immediately life threatening condition.
THIS!!!!!
